HUGGINS TOURS

Punting 2003

This report from our correspondent, Dave Smith

Punting went well, 12 of us in 2 lots of Irish currency.
Fast boat
Paul H.
Ian H.
Dave G.
Paul G.
Dave B.
Dave S.
Slow boat
Simon H.
Tony T.
Lyn T.
Newton
Elliot
Fiona

After picnic and softball and a visit to the Green Man (who wasn't flashing), we continue upstream. We come across a fork and take a right, not knowing which way the slow boat, trailing in front of us had gone. After a few minutes we encounter a small stone built house/mill? with an impassible tunnel linking in to the weir. Doing a u-turn we go back to the fork and hang it left. Very pleasant here. No traffic noise or other boats and it's a bit narrower.

On the way back Paul G was rather impolite and impatient or perhaps egotistical. He decided to leave the room without saying goodbye. Why impatient? Most people wait for the punt to moor to, what us sea-faring folk call 'land' before leaving. Egotistical? Maybe Paul thought he could walk on water.

'So what's going on' I hear you ask... diddly dum diddly dum misty wavy lines in the air as we go back 5 minutes. Dave B. is Schussing us along quite nicely with elegance, poise and tackless (not tactless). Ian comments on how skillful he is, when the proverbial foot goes in the mouth, except in this case the pole went in the mud.
Dave uses his quick thinking and:
1. Lets go of the pole as the punt demonstrates Newton's first law (something about not stopping until another force is encountered)
2. Applies the handbrake, thus applying Newton's first law to our advantage.
So you've spotted the fly in the ointment. As they are cheap hire boats, they don't have a handbrake.

Paul G. from his reverse cox position at the bow, uses the paddle to pirouette the punt and retrieve Dave's lost property. As Paul G. prises the pole from the mud, he introduces Newton's third law, action and re-action are equal and opposite, so the punt is pushed away from the pole and Paul forgets Newton's fourth law - let go of the bloody pole before you fall in the water. Paul did manage to freeze time. At the point of no return I saw the look of fear on his face as he hovered for a second before applying Newton's second law and travelling towards the water with increasing velocity.

So, If s=ut + 1/2 at*t
s(distance) = about 1.5
u(initial velocity) = 0
a(acceleration - gravity) = 10
t(time)
w(wetness)
therefore t*t = 1.5/10
= approx .4 seconds to the water
and w=very

On returning to the boathouse we hear of Newton's fifth law. If you want the bathroom, wait until you see some totty.